For Now And Forever

Our adoption was made final today!!! I'm still amazed at the changes in my life in the last year. Start to finish, our process took one year and one week. Amazing! I don't know why it was so much easier for us than for all of our friends who waited so much longer but I am so grateful! I still can't believe this little angel is mine. I am so incredibly blessed! Special thanks to Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Toe-Toe, Lori, Brent, Nathan and Jenn for coming to celebrate with us!

Collin you have completely changed my life and I can't imagine how I managed to live for 33 years (ouch) without you. Thanks for calling me Mama, it melts my heart every time! (Which, incidently, is the ONLY reason you cuddled with mom tonight instead of going to bed when you were supposed to...) I love you!!

Dear Collin,

Today is a very special day for us. It's one I'm sure you won't remember, but equally certain I will never forget. One year ago today, you changed my life forever. One year ago today, I held you in my arms for the first time. I've been thinking a lot about that day lately. And the 365 days since then. I've thought about how determined I was that first day. Determined to get you well, but not to fall in love. My resolve lasted almost as long as it took you nuzzle your cute little face into my neck and fall asleep. I should have known then that I was a goner, but I'm a little stubborn. I've thought about the first time the thought crossed my mind that maybe, just maybe, I could be your mom. You still weren't feeling very good and had fallen asleep on the bed in the hotel room. I watched you sleep for a few minutes with a lump in my throat and a swelling in my heart. You've done that several times since then. You're actually pretty good at it. I've thought about the day I went to visit your orphanage and how I knew that, although it was obvious you were loved there, it seemed completely wrong that you should have to grow up there.

I think about when I left you for the first time. You and I stayed back a bit from all the other mommies and daddies and children. I wasn't sure what to say to you, so I just told you that I loved you and hoped I'd see you again someday. What I didn't realize at the time, was that my heart wouldn't be going home with me. It preferred to stay with you in a little village in Haiti. When I think about the next two weeks, how I agonized about whether or not bringing you home to live with me was the best thing for you, I remembered how the memory of your big brown eyes and that smile that, although rare at the time, managed to melt the area where my heart used to be. Even a thousand miles away, we were still connected. The next two months were a flurry of activity, trying desperately to gather all the necessary paperwork to "get the process started" for us. All the while, feeling a sense of urgency, a feeling that I needed to move faster. At the time, I didn't know why. Fast forward a few months to January 12th. Another day that I will never forget. I think about having to go on with day to day living, not knowing for sure if you were still alive. For six agonizing days, I wondered, I prayed, I cried, until finally, I knew for sure.

And then, I can't help but think about the literal miracles that took place in the next two weeks that brought you and your friends home. I think about the people that risked their lives to save you. Those who risked their safety to go find you. The hearts that were softened and laws that were changed, just to enable you to come home to me.

Mostly though, I think about how blessed I am to be the one you call mom. How grateful I am to a Heavenly Father who saw two people who needed each other and literally moved heaven and earth to bring us together. Every time I see your big brown eyes looking up at me, or hear your infectious giggle, I'm reminded of just what a miracle you are. With every kiss and cuddle you give me, I'm awestruck all over again, that I was the one chosen to be your mother. Thank you my sweet boy, for changing my world in ways I never dreamed of and for allowing me to love more deeply than I ever thought possible. I love you so much and can't wait to see what the future will bring to our little family.

All my love,
Mom

Just Thought You Should Know...

My son is afraid of the microwave.

Yep, the microwave.

Not so much afraid OF it as he is afraid that it's eating his food.

He has a first class melt down every time I put something in it.

Oh, I've tried reasoning with him. Yeah,that went well.

I've tried letting him watch as the food spins round and round (on the rotating table) inside of it.

That went equally well.

Side note: He's also taken to sitting on, running over, or jumping on the dog whenever he's not looking. The two stories relate, I promise.

We've been working on "be nice Collin" to spare the dog any additional surprise attacks.

One day last week, I put Collin's easy mac (eat your heart out Betty Crocker!) in the microwave for lunch.

Que the melt down and my initial attempts to stave it off with no success.

Finally, I tried in my most patient voice (it's about an octave below my most exasperated voice) to tell him that the microwave was just warming it up and he could eat it in a minute.

That seemed to work, until I over cooked it and then had to put it in the freezer for a few minutes to cool so that he could eat it.

His response? "Mama, ou be nice ah Collin" translation: Mama, you be nice to Collin.

Then I caught him giving the freezer the stink-eye.

Should Have Seen That One Comin'!

Ever since Collin and Tucker became BFF's, Collin follows the poor dog everywhere. Mostly to torment him. For the most part, Tucker takes it pretty well. When he gets tired of being mistaken for a horse, car, trampoline and/or pillow, he sneaks out his doggie door to the relative comfort of the backyard. A technique that, apparently, did not go unnoticed by his tormentor. A few weeks ago, I was in the backyard mowing the lawn, while Collin was riding his bike on the deck and Tucker had taken refuge in the house for a change (he's not a fan of lawnmowers. I might possibly have gotten a little too close to him with one once. Or twice...). Anyway, after a few minutes, I looked up to check on Collin, but he was gone. Our backyard is fully fenced, so I knew he couldn't have gone far. I walked around the corner of the house, no Collin. I walked to the other side of the house, still no Collin. I wasn't exactly concerned, but I was definitely confused. Until I looked at the back door and saw this...

And apparently, practice makes perfect...

Isolated incident right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. Fast forward two weeks. It was about 8:30 at night, Collin was in his PJ's, almost ready for bed. I was sitting in a chair doing some work I'd brought home from the office. Collin and Tucker were playing on the floor next to me. Evidently I was concentrating pretty hard on my work, because when I finally heard "hi Mama!" and looked up to respond, Collin had disappeared again. There are a lot more places to hide inside than outside, so I got up to peek in a few of his favorites. As I was walking through the kitchen, I happened to glance outside. There was my baby Houdini giggling and waving proudly from the back deck. Still pretty cute, but I am being extra careful to make sure Collin doesn't notice any of Tucker's other little tricks. Like where he goes to the bathroom....

How Do You Give A Great Haircut?

I have absolutely no idea, but here are a few things I learned while giving Collin his first haircut on American soil. Step 1: Call in reinforcements. Step 2: Know someone with a good buzzer. It helps when steps one and two can be filled by the same person (And her two adorable kids. Thanks Toria, Jaxson and Logan!)

Step 3: Get a few locks for his baby book (no, they're not actually the first, but they're the first for me!)

Step 4: Take a deep breath and relax!

Step 5: Get Collin used to the sound of the buzzer

Step 6: When step 5 doesn't work, provide a distraction...

and a target... Thanks for being such good sport Jaxson and Logan!!!

And after a few mis-fires with the water bottle (self-inflicted I promise)...

Step 7: Snuggle with your mommy and tell her she did a good job!!

Man's Best Friend... FINALLY!

Collin and Tucker got off to a pretty rocky start. Okay, it was totally my fault. When we finally made it home from the airport the day Collin came home, it was after 1:00 in the morning. We'd been traveling most of the day and we were both exhausted. I put Collin down on the family room floor without checking to see where Tucker was. Did I mention that dogs in Haiti are not the cleanliest animals and therefore the children are taught to stay as far away from them as possible? Did I also mention that it's been just Tucker and I in my house for the last four years and he was therefore REALLY excited to see me after I'd been gone for 3 days? You can guess what happened next. Yep, Tucker leaped for me, landed right in front of Collin's face and scared the daylights out of him. (On the slightly humorous side, 'cuz it was pretty funny, I've never seen Collin jump and run that fast before or since!) For the next 17 (okay I might be rounding up, but it was pretty close to that) days, Collin would start to cry if Tucker was in the same room. Slowly, things started to improve. First, Tucker was allowed in the room as long as he didn't make eye contact or any sudden movement and didn't come within 10 feet of Collin. Then, it was 5 feet and he was allowed on Collin's couch, but still no eye contact and no sudden movements. Our first break through followed a whole lot of encouragement by me, when Collin would touch Tucker for half a second and then run squealing (not crying, just excited) from the room. Of course, Tucker had to be asleep on the floor before he would do it. And then FINALLY...

Not only is Tucker allowed to roam freely, but Collin is even allowing him to give "kisses".

Of course, now that he knows there is nothing to be afraid of, he's taken to running over him with his new Diego bike and pinning him in the corner as a target for his big bouncy ball. I think Tucker liked it better when he was afraid of him. Sorry boy...but thanks for being a good sport!

Easter Morning

Okay, maybe the Easter Bunny got a little carried away...

But this smile makes it TOTALLY worth it!

The boy likes Peeps! Who knew? His uncles will be so proud...

And of course, he loves all things cars...